he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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