I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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