grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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