Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
