Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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