Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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