Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Can I color on your dick again?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize