Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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