Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Randomize