we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
