and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
