omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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