grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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