i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
