I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
