i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize