I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
