Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
