Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I am available for nakedness
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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