its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize