I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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