shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
