I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
