Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
