So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the condom got lost in my hair
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
