He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
