Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
