Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Gay?
German.
Pity.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
