so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
