wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
