Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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