Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize