i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
