they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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