you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You may now shotgun with the bride
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
