Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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