I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
