I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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