he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
