We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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