omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
