4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
