a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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