put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is my gift to your gina
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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