turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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