I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
