no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
