I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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