As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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