READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize