I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
this just has baby written all over it
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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