I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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