Are we in a gay sports bar?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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