when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
