Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize