so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
