I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
