why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
