I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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