They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
