I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
