He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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