So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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