she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We left the knife in your bed.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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