why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
