First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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