I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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