everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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