Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
